Crystal Plaza Hotel in Stockholm (Birger Jarlsgatan 35, 111 45 Stockholm) is one of the Excellence chain, which judging from the Crystal Plaza example, are excellent only in the name.

Photo: Anna Etmanska

The hotel has 111 rooms, but if you are a lone traveler like myself, you will most likely be spending your nights in a hole that vaguely resembles a coffin. My room was not really a room, but a narrow space with a bed alcove and nothing else. It was so tiny that there was no place for even a TV – a flat screen was suspended at an odd angle on a wall facing the bed. I’m rather short but when stretched out on the bed I managed to touch all four walls with my arms and legs. Well, didn’t I tell you it was a coffin?

The bathroom was equally miniscule (shower cubicle at 18 inches!) and devoid of the usual hotel toiletries. “We don’t provide that,” I was told by a cheery guy at the front desk. How about some facial tissue? I was told housekeeping would bring some up, but they never did. I finally located a housekeeping cart myself, however there was no tissue there. I had to make do with an additional roll of toilet paper.

Rooms do vary at Crystal Plaza, that’s for sure. My friend on another floor had a bigger room and even a bathtub in her bathroom. And she paid less than I did. But hers was a smoking room.

The single rooms come in three sizes: small single, standard single and large single. I have yet to distinguish between them – regardless of the type I book, I end up in a coffin.

The room rate includes a breakfast buffet, which is as unremarkable as any other hotel breakfast buffet the world over. The problem at Crystal Plaza is that due to its popular location, the hotel is always full, and the breakfast buffet is always crowded. The service, on the other hand, is glacially slow.

The dining option consists of Ming – a vaguely Asian restaurant. Be forewarned – as all “Asian” food in Sweden, it has been modified to suit the local tastes. Some items on the menu have rather strange English translations – “kokos” was translated as “cocoa”, which of course it’s not (“kokos” means “coconut”).

What the hotel has going for it is indeed its location. It’s right smack in the centre of hip, cool Östermalm close to nightlife, bars, concert venues, shopping and good restaurants. A subway stop is only a short walk away.

The front desk staff are as helpful as they can be and truly go out of their way to please the guests. And the guests can be a handful. While I was there, a group of Spaniards on a package-trip was complaining rather loudly about their miniscule rooms.

The rates really vary. For some days a single can be as high as 1500SEK for a standard single during the week, and as low as 900SEK during the weekend.

Summary of Crystal Plaza Hotel :
Pluses: beds are divine, reasonably priced and the location is great
Minuses: everything else

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